Gunk comes in for Christmas
At the end of every year, the days get shorter and the weather turns gray. People rush about, shopping for gifts and foodstuff.
When the holidays arrive, the larder is full, all the gifts have been wrapped, the days are at their shortest, and expectations are high.
Every year, joining in with the seasonal spirit, I decorate the inside of my house was with lots of lights, tinsel, baubles, doodads, and gimcracks. I have boxes of the stuff packed into the attic. Just getting everything downstairs, opened up, and sorted out is no mean task. This year, I even had a real coniferous evergreen (or Christmas tree), much to the chagrin of my cat, as his favorite cushion was moved aside to fit the tree into the living room.
That evening, I sat in my comfortable chair, enjoying the coziness of it all. It had taken me two days to set up the tree and put up all the decorations, but it was worth the effort.
After turning off all the lights, I headed for bed and slept, dreaming of blinking snowmen and flashy colored reindeer.
The next morning, when I came downstairs, something seemed different. It took a moment for my sleepy head to catch up with what my eyes were seeing.
Between the kitchen door and the living room, there was a trail of decorations, fairy lights, and baubles. When I poked my head around the living room door, the cat was laying on his cushion that was back in its favorite spot. There where the tree had stood.
But wait! Where had the tree gone!?
For an instance, I thought that the cat, to reclaim the place for his cushion, had dragged the tree away. Or maybe the tree had gone for a walk outside?
Outside? Of course! I should follow the trail outside, to see where the tree had gone!
After I walked out of the house, I could see that the tree had made it half-way down the garden, where it had taken root.
I just stood there perplexed. As I watched, the tree began to rock and shake, shrugging off the remaining tinsel and baubles. When it had completely voided itself of all decorations, its branches parted and Gunk’s head appeared.
“Oh, hey!” Gunk beamed at me, “Your tree wasn’t looking too good, so I thought I’d better take care of it! It’s much better off in the soil and the sunlight!” Looking up at the sky, I didn’t really see any sunlight. I turned my attention back to the tree, and more specifically, to Gunk.
“Gunk,” I said, “the tree is supposed to be inside. It is part of my festive decorations!”
“Well, how would you feel”, she replied, “inside all the time, with all of those horrible dingums and whatchamacallits all over the place?”
To be honest, I was getting a bit cold and, as I am rather fond of my dingums, I wouldn’t mind being indoors with them. As I didn’t feel that would improve my standing with Gunk, I kept that particular sentiment to myself. Instead, I responded with a (looking back rather lame) “But, it’s Christmas!” After a moment’s reflection, I added “And what do you mean ‘horrible’?” I might be all grown up, but I have to confess, I may have pouted at this point. “I like my dingums! It took me days to put all those decorations up!”
I really would rather be inside.
“Yeah,” Gunk said, more puzzled than angry, “what is a Krismess? And why did you do up your house like that? Is it your birthday again?”
At this point, it might be wise to explain that, when we first met, Gunk didn’t really understand birthdays. She warmed up to the idea of birthdays when it was my birthday, and she latched on to the concept of birthday presents.
After that, several times a year, she would announce (completely out of the blue) that it was her birthday and could she have her present now, please.
But, sometimes, I still get the feeling she doesn’t really understand…
So, we trudged back inside, without the tree. I put the kettle on, offered Gunk some chocolate cookies, and started to explain Christmas.
I am sorry to say that I wasn’t making a very good job of it. To give you an idea, here are some of the things Gunk exclaimed:
- “Since when do you decorate your house for other people’s birthdays?”
- “You never told me having a birthday two days in a row was an option!”
- “People get presents and it isn’t even their birthday!?”
- “He’s not Chris’ father? But he’s even called Father Christmas!”
- “But if Father Christmas is also Saint Nicholas, Kris Kringle, Père Noël, and Babbo Natale… How do you know what to call him?”
- “Wait, did the fizzy drinks people actually give him clothes?”
- “How come they only sing at Christmas? I sing all year!”
- “How many days of Christmas?”
- “They don’t like to fly, so what I want to know is, how did it get up in that pear tree in the first place!”
- “Why didn’t I get a card! I’m not even that far away, I live right there!”
- And “You were going to eat all of that alone?”
This last remark was after I told Gunk about the Christmas Feast I usually host. I’d gone through all the preparations but, because of all sorts of reasons, this year, no-one was able to come. It looked like I was going to spend the most festive day of the year by myself.
So Gunk invited herself to dinner.
To be fair, she did offer to help with the cooking. Seeing how her help usually works out, I managed to talk her out of it. She haughtily declared she wouldn’t have been able to help anyway, as she would need at least two days to get her home ugly enough for Christmas.
And with that, she picked up some baubles and walked out the kitchen door.
After I’d finished my tea, I wanted to clean up the trail of destruction Gunk had left when she moved my tree outside. Only, the trail was gone. Somehow she’d managed to take all the decorations with her.
I guess Gunk really did have her work cut out for her…
When it was time for Christmas dinner, I was feeling a bit down. Although I always enjoy Gunk’s company, it would’ve been nice to have my friends and family around.
Gunk did her best to cheer me up. She left my cat alone and invented all sorts of games for us to play.
My favorite was turning the fairy light on and off, purely with the power of our minds. Luckily, I could cheat by pressing the switch on the extension cord with my foot, as it was hidden underneath my comfortable chair.
After an evening that was fun, despite the lack of people, just before we both headed to our beds, Gunk left me with this wish:
That your days may grow brighter and the sun shine longer
“Actually,” Gunk said, “I know they will. You just make sure you don’t forget it!”
All stories in this repository are created by Ben & Pimmie
Peachey/Schoorl
and licensed under a Creative Commons
Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.